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Should you propose to your man?

1 July; Author: Niyija

You have been dating for donkey’s years, and he still hasn’t popped the question…

You are sure that he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, but sometimes you are fearful that he doesn’t feel the same way. At other times, you just know he loves you and you feel excited by the thought of him proposing to you sometime in the future.

The topic of marriage is something you need to discuss openly with your partner. 

Naturally, you are both entitled to ask the big question. However, who actually does so, would depend on the belief system in your relationship. Ask your partner how he feels about women proposing and take it from there.

Never make assumptions about what he thinks before asking him. If he is a traditional guy, and believes that it is only he who has the duty to propose, give him the time he needs to fulfill that duty. If he is ok with women proposing, then why not surprise him?

proposing-to-boyfriend

Find out what goals he wants to achieve before marriage. 

Men often want to achieve certain goals, before settling down for marriage.

These goals may range from him wanting to be at a certain income level in his company, to him wanting both of you to be settled in your own place.

Talk to him and be honest and open about everything. Take an interest in how he feels, and don’t always focus on the fact that he hasn’t proposed yet. You are with him because you know that both of you really want to be together.

Men often want to surprise their partner too, and he may be planning that perfect moment. Arguments about the topic could lead to the proposal being delayed even longer.

Many people believe that during a leap year women are allowed to pop the big question to their men. 

Everyone is entitled to equality. We live in a time where women can make their own choices, including proposing to the men they love.

Marriage is about committing to a life together, and if you are both on the same page regarding your future as a couple, what difference does it make if you don’t propose the traditional way?

Proposing to him doesn’t mean you are taking the power away from him, it means you both have a mutual agreement about your future as a married couple. If he is the one for you, then why not? Go ahead and pop the question.

What if he’s a traditional kind of guy and wouldn’t want you to propose?

Both men and women are equal. Women are now breadwinners and company owners, when back in history, all these things were the traditional domain of men.

Men who are against women proposing often have a hard time adjusting to the changes. If your man is all about tradition and he really wants to do the proposing, don’t propose to him.

In certain cultures, strong cultural rules would be broken if a woman were to propose. For example in the African culture the man must propose, pay lobola and cover wedding expenses, etc.

Think about your partner’s cultural background and the belief system he grew up with. If he is sure about marrying you, give him room to do so. Relationships start with him sweeping you off your feet. Let him sweep you off your feet for the rest of your life.

There is no right or wrong answer to the question. 

The best answer depends on your relationship belief system.

Discuss the topic openly with your partner, without arguing, or making him feel like he is under pressure. Society is made up of different cultures, and you, as a woman, must know what your man believes before making any decision.

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