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How to deal with unrequited love

23 October; Author: Niyija

Unrequited love is love that is not returned. When you are a victim of unrequited love, it can be a very painful experience.

This article will offer some guidance for dealing with unrequited love, which has haunted and distressed women throughout history.

If you are the victim of unrequited love…

broken-heart

1. Accept that romantic love isn’t usually a conscious decision

So, if a person knows that you love them, but doesn’t feel the same way about you, don’t view it as some kind of betrayal or deliberate withholding. They might want to love you, but simply don’t, for reasons they don’t understand, and may never understand. Sometimes the feeling just isn’t there. Try not to take it personally.

The truth is that all people have chemical attractions to one another which are not often mutual. You will somehow need to accept that he just wasn’t that into you. This shouldn’t make you despondent – there are many other people who will find you attractive intellectually, physically, and emotionally.

2. Eradicate any sense of neediness

If you’re feeling upset, depressed, or bitter, it’s probably because you feel you need that person’s love in order to be happy. However, the research on happiness indicates that all you need is a healthy dose of optimism.

You may also find that it’s a sense of neediness (which you may be conveying without even realising it) that’s turning off the person you love, perhaps by making them feel uncomfortable or threatened.

3. Distance yourself

You won’t want to, but staying close to someone you want but can’t have just isn’t healthy. You will need to distance yourself from him physically and, if possible, mentally as well. Try to take the time to reflect on your situation and to concentrate on and learn more about yourself.

broken_heart

4. Enjoy being single

Dealing with unrequited love is a lot like getting over a break up, except that you feel a sense of loss over something you never had. Still, you have to learn how to enjoy life without someone, which can be hard in our couple-centred society.

Try to focus your attention on something else. Make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do, and do them.

5. If you want to stay friends

Follow the steps in wikiHow’s article ‘How to Deal With Being Dumped when You Want to Remain Friends’. While you weren’t dumped, you were rejected, and the advice in the article will help to preserve your friendship with this person.

6. Practise unconditional love

If you feel that you really, truly love this person, then perhaps you can love them unconditionally. You’ll know you’ve reached that point when you can genuinely feel happy for them, even if that happiness does not include you.  With unconditional love, there’s no sense of loss, because it’s about deriving all your happiness from the act of giving – not from receiving.

 

 

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki building the world’s largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to deal with unrequited love. Content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons License.

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