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Who Do You Love?

12 August; Author: Niyija

It really isn’t possible to love another person unless you love yourself first…

As you love yourself so will you love another person


It raises two interesting points: Love is not that feeling of love, and to love oneself is to love other people. Let’s assume you do love yourself for a moment: who is the other that you love?

More to the point, what is it that you love about him/her?

Here is the truth, and again it comes in two interesting points: What you love about the person is not really that person, and it’s not the person you love but how he/she makes you feel.

Then again, this isn’t really love, this is just “like”

Understanding the difference between love and “like” is to realise that “like” is about the other person’s behaviour and appearance, love has to do with who they really are.

A person is not their looks or their behaviour: a person is the spirit that burns within them. Looks fade or lose their appeal through familiarity, behaviour changes with mood and can be learned, but the spirit never changes.

A commitment to love is a commitment to see the person in terms of the permanent (spirit) and not the impermanent (looks and behaviour). This is why you can love someone, but not always like them, and the trick is not to confuse love with like.

You can’t fall in or out of love, love is a way you choose to live, not a way you decide to feel, and it needs no feelings to sustain or motivate it.

Is your commitment to love or to like?

You can, however, fall in and out of “like”, as like is feeling-based and can be affected by what you had for lunch. The tragic thing is that the foundation for so many relationships is “like” and not love, and so the divorce rate climbs.

Remember this the next time you want to call it quits – was your commitment to love or like? Love him/her for who they are (spirit) and not how they look or behave (temporary programming).

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